The Interview Magazine
He worked hard, played even harder
That he was a brave hunter who dared to tread where even angels feared is not in doubt. When the Yankees seemed to have missed their way at the height of the bloody civil war that engulfed their satellite country in the West African sub-region, he saved the day. He inspired the troops sent by our kingdom to sack the wayward rebels and restore sanity to the beleaguered country.
That uncommon valour eventually catapulted him to the headship of our kingdom’s army after his tour of duty in the West African country.
So, when news broke recently that the brave soldier had kicked the bucket, not a few of his compatriots shed bucketful of tears.
But even while his family members and the army were still bickering over the order of his obsequies, those who knew him intimately could not help recounting his exploits in whispers.
Just as he worked hard, he was said to have also lived life to dangerous extreme, to the extent that some even considered it a miracle that he managed to live up to a ripe age.
Like the archetypal old soldier we read about in story books, he certainly had his own fair share of loud parties, booze and women.
According to one account, he was the kind of guy who could party hard from dusk to dawn, dispense with crates of booze, and yet be the first to be at his desk at 7.30AM, looking alert and agile, as if nothing had happened.
Hmm…as they say, the old soldier never dies; he only fades away.
Baba’s secret pain
The last time, we told you about how 500m cowries exchanged hands in bribe during the primaries of the broom party ahead of the contest to pick the new Gomina of the province by River Niger. Of course, the giver happened to be our friend who had newly crossed over from the umbrella camp to the broom crowd and has never hidden his desperation to regain the power he was made to taste briefly in the same province 10 years ago.
And the receiver? The one popularly called the “short man devil” who today presides over the ministry in charge of labourers under “Mai Gaskiya”. He played a fast one on our gullible friend and awarded the party ticket to someone else.
Of course, it all ended a nullity as the broom party lost out.
Well, the new gist is how the swindling of our friend resonated in faraway Olumo city in Odualand. Recall that our swindled friend is the political godson of the popular resident chicken farmer who was once Oga Patapata of the kingdom.
When consulted, Baba was said to have endorsed the decision of our friend to dump the umbrella party and nail his flag to the broom on the understanding that he would be treated as Baba’s own pikin since he has given “Mai Gaskiya” unqualified support since he took over the Rocky castle. He expected that the province by River Niger would be ceded to him as his own fiefdom and potentially “oil bloc”.
Kai!, to imagine that our friend not only lost out in the primaries but also had a whole 500 cowries “disappear”, just like that. This, we gathered, is rather too heavy a blow for Baba to endure, given his legendary tight-fistedness.
So, when Baba begins to fire bazooka in the direction of the Rocky castle, you at least now know one of the unstated reasons.
