PMB and the ‘enemies of progress’


First, they circulated the news that the Great One had kicked the bucket. For several hours, the nation was on the edge as no one knew what that would entail for national stability.
It turned out for be a hoax.
Later, it was mischief of “penis surgery”. The social media virtually went haywire following the report “Muhammad Buhari” had undergone a medical procedure in the “private sector”. Coming at a time when the only one widely known by that name was supposed to be on “medical vacation” in London, many did not wait to read the body of the story to conclude that, ha!, the jigsaw puzzle had finally fallen in place.
It took hours before the purveyors of the “fake news” (apology US President Donald Trump), apparently now ashamed that it was a case of mistaken identity, began to beat a retreat. Eventually, it became clear that the Muhammad Buhari that underwent penis surgery is actually a four-year boy who had suffered the misfortune of having his manhood cut by a wicked relation.
Now, the “enemies of progress,” obviously unhappy with the giant strides PMB has taken in virtually all facets of our national life in the past 21 months, have changed gear. They would have us believe that the series of photo sessions the great PMB has been having with streams of VIPs from Nigeria lately were contrived to give the impression that all is well.
According to them, since Sai Gaskiya (the truthful one) landed the Queen’s land, he has actually been spending most of his time under the watchful eyes of his physicians.
Question: Really?

Answer: Yes. I can almost swear on my father’s grave. Forget the photo carnival being staged at the Abuja House.

So sure of his facts, the informant disclosed to us the name of the medical facility where Sai Gaskiya is receiving intensive care in Central London. It is a compound name with the first letter being the sixteenth letter of the alphabet.

Question: So, what’s really going on?
Answer: If you go to that famous hospital, you will one one limousine with diplomatic number plate parked nearby. So, whenever Oga has to receive VIPs, he is driven to Abuja House to receive them. Of course, he has to put on decent clothes. Trust me, this explains why when a group of Diasporan Nigerians assembled in front of that building the other day with placards. You would expect that No.1 would seize the golden opportunity to appear on the balcony and maybe wave a hand at them to reassure, if not disarm, them. But No. 1 never materialised. He could not because he simply was not anywhere nearby.

Well, we, as patriots, took this revelation with a pinch of salt. We can second-guess what officialdom would say. So, even before a single word is uttered by the information minister, Lai Mohammed, and PMB’s media specialists, Femi Adesina and Garba Shehu, we already used our discretion to dismiss this wholly as the handiwork of mischief-makers, another instance of “corruption fighting back.”

The Interview Editors

Written by The Interview Editors

The Interview is a niche publication, targeting leaders and aspiring leaders in business, politics, entertainment, sports, arts, the professions and others within society’s upper middle class and high-end segment in Nigeria.