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King and the exuberant Prince 

When “Mai Gaskiya’s” heir was involved in a serious freak highway accident the other day, opinions were understandably divided in the land. Whereas the majority were moved to sympathise and empathise with the “New Sheriff in Town” and madam in “the other room”, there were of course those who felt it was the just wage of over-indulgence.

Trust, ardent followers of “Mai Gaskiya” were not caught napping by this rather malicious attempt to malign him as one who would condone any member of his brood engaged in ostentatious living or taste. So much that the spin soon circulated to his base was that if his pikin fell off the bike, it was only because he could not afford to buy him a car. Of course, it didn’t matter that the bike involved here is fit only for royalty and the price tag could buy a top-range SUV of the most swanky brand and still leave some change.

Happily, the handsome prince is fully back on his feet now.

But what you certainly have not heard yet is Mai Gaskiya’s outburst soon after the accident happened. 

After receiving the shocking news, the King would take time before going to the healing house where the Prince was rushed to in coma. Ordinarily taciturn, the silence he put up from the palace to the location was particularly unnerving for the coterie of aides and family members who followed him.

Having inspected the Prince in his terrible shape, the King, we gathered, only blurted out under his breath sarcastically to the hearing of the Queen, “I hope those who went to buy you such an expensive bike and encouraged you to go out at such an ungodly hour would be ashamed of themselves now”, and stormed out of the ward.

It was clear the King felt personally embarrassed and mad at the lapses that enabled the Prince to get himself in that sort of situation.

Dilemma of a political desperado

These are definitely trying times for our rambunctious friend in charge of the ministry customarily saddled with moving people from point A to point B. Not too long ago, it was widely reported that he had been picked as the generalissimo in the battle to renew the tenancy of “Mai Gaskiya” at the Rocky Castle. The story, from our findings, was actually planted by our friend himself in a section of the media to shore up his image as one of the few big players in the current dispensation.

But he seemed to have acted too fast. It was learnt that that some aides later pointed the anomaly to “Mai Gaskiya” that it was procedurally wrong to set up an office – much less name a head – to coordinate his bid to renew his tenancy when he had not formally told members of his party or the nation for that matter that he was interested.

This explains why Oga later put a freeze on the activities of our friend who, we gathered, is only scheming to ensure his continued relevance under the current dispensation. 

The story is not ended. Stay tuned. 

A bid for Gomina’s job

With the race to the 2019 elections now gathering pace, the fever is undoubtedly already catching on in the land. But in the province with the “Big Heart”, there is some worry. We are talking of the one down South of the Niger whose infamous Prodigal child successfully finished serving time in Queen’s gaol not too long ago. The one accused of chopping and chopping to the point of constipation when he had opportunity to preside over the affairs of the province until Nemesis caught up with him.

Well, why people are worried is the quality of the people bidding to be “swept” into the Gomina’s office there. Take the case of our gangling friend, for instance. Before now, he was a prominent face under the local Umbrella and had had the opportunity of representing the province in the junior talking chamber in the Rocky City. 

To get there, of course, he literally bulldozed his way and was generally known to be a roughneck. He actually played dirty to displace the original occupant, a celebrated Nosey Parker, who had brought so much dignity and class to the office. 

Still can’t recognize him? The one whose name sounds like the capital of an Arab kingdom within the African continent, that is.

Having lost out in the “share the money” family currently lording it over the province, our friend angrily picked up the “broom” and is now telling everyone that cares to listen that it is a matter of time for him to “take over” the “cash cow” from the current exploiters. 

Why the people are worried, we gathered, is the possibility of our friend becoming Gomina since he now belongs to the party “sweeping” from the centre.

Poser over PMB, OBJ’s birthdays
Despite having once confessed that he did not have records of his birthday, busybodies still would not allow Baba Iyabo have peace of mind. To settle matter, he has had to work with the date “March 5” and in fact marked his 81th birthday recently. Just when you would think these “enemies of progress” would let OBJ be came the mischievous expose circulated in the social media. It reads: “Baba Obasanjo celebrated his 81st birthday last week while his younger sister is 86, is
God not a miracle worker(?)”

Incidentally, it was the turn of OBJ to pose some “mischief” two or so years ago when President Buhari was making his birthday. Whereas most of his well-wishers were saluting him on his 73rd birthday then, a rare advert copy personally signed by OBJ read “78”. Well, maybe it was a typo or something. Or, having been Buhari’s boss in the 70s, is it that OBJ knew something the rest of us don’t?

But we can hazard an answer – it is all the handiwork of “enemies of progress”.

The Interview Magazine

Written by The Interview Magazine

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