With Love From The ‘Other Room’

What should constitute a home? Well our President and Commander-in-Chief, Muhammadu Buhari recently made it clear – the Kitchen, the Living Room and the Other Room.

That was vintage President Buhari obviously. I mean what’s in a home if these three rooms are missing. Those are the basics and also the core. Everything else is an addendum.

In fact, I enjoin the EFCC and the DSS to add yet another indices for staging ‘sting’ operations going forward; anyone, especially a public official whose home has more than the three rooms as identified by the president above should be arrested for corruption.

All those with mansions of multiple rooms must explain to us what they are doing with the extra rooms in this recession.

But lets get back to Mr. President’s categorisation, which goes as follows:

The Kitchen; everyone loves the kitchen for very obvious reasons. It doesn’t matter how small it is, you will only underestimate its role at your peril. Many have rushed from the boardroom after all the big grammar and analyses at the end of a hard day and straight to the kitchen to open pots and pans. Many have sat in the living room with their nostrils facing the kitchen for whiffs of delicacies. You still don’t understand why the kitchen is so important? Well go ask your stomach.

The next in line according to our dear president is the living room, another very important part, I tell you. Just think about all those your visitors and tell me again why you think the president should not be taken seriously. How else will your friends know you have finally got that latest home gadget if there is no living to show off?

For those with more questions on the relevance of this room, needless to say your cable TV remote has all the answers.

Now, to the ‘Other Room’. Whether we like it or not, boardrooms have been rocked, nations bombed and presidents toppled by decisions taken initially in this room. While the kitchen is the most important and the living room the most visible, this room remains the most powerful of all the rooms in the home. Once the body language of the occupants of this room is in sync with each, no cabal can ever interfere unduly.

I remember a former US Secretary of State, Madeline Albright, disclosing in her book ‘Madam Secretary’ how Hillary Clinton played a major role in ensuring Bill Clinton nominated her (Albright) as the 64^th Secretary of State. Do you think that conversation with the then President Bill Clinton and his wife took place in the oval office during a cabinet meeting? Come on! President Buhari’s ‘Other Room’ is where it’s done.

It usually begins with the coy but knowing looks, the fluttering of the hearts, a playful nibble here and there and before you know it the most solemn and critical decisions are considered and adopted, all before the crack of a new dawn.

You don’t believe me? Please go argue with your libido.

So many deals have been sealed and unsealed here that I’m amazed that since President Buhari’s unguarded response beside Chancellor Angela Merkel in Germany, many women now deny the ‘Other Room’.

Seriously?

The ‘Other Room’ is also a refuge for many. This is where, away from the world, including the prying eyes of the occupants of the living room, that many have sought and received solace. It is the sanctuary within a sanctuary.

Please tell me again, why any woman will not happily claim ownership of this room?